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You Have Completely Destroyed Me​!​!​!​!

by fraxiom

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1.
and it breaks my brain you don’t see the error in your selfish ways yelling at me throwing shit for the display you don’t know my ego or my damn first name pack my shit right up in my broken suitcase maybe i’ll be good to talk to people in a few days when the smoke clears up and nobody says hey guess i’m in the bed i made when i had asked for space but i didn’t mean out of the galaxy i just went to the moon to level out you see then had to go back home where no one’s proud of me because they never guessed that i would sprout to be a mantra dick who contradicts everything i say hope my enemies found peace and former friends all found their way if you knew me now you don’t you dodged a bullet i would say sorry but i’m not at all ashamed for pushing me away cuz i don’t even know the extent of my harm when you want me to smile but i’m dead in your arms i’m just practicing for what i see in my dreams thought that i was gonna change the world but now it’s changing me i just want someone to grab my shit and tell me how to live and i was a bit excited that you were the catalyst i just want someone to grab me tell me everything’s okay so i can pick all their words apart for what was dumb to say and attack back cuz compliments feel like attacks when you don’t trust that you’re gonna make ‘em happy back i wanna bust that that stupid look right off your face the one that tells me i’m allright and everything’s okay who the fuck do you think that you are making me promise to eat, take my meds, be a star moved six times last year so how can i not feel alone in a place where i can actually rest, build a home like i’m puttin up condemned signs i dont like the pressure and the deadlines wanna chase the high of meaking headlines i need to recover give me more time i need to recover give me more time give me more time give me more time give me more time give me more time i don’t know how long it’ll take sorry no release date for the day i fix my brain i just hope you’ll be patient for me was my hard work all worth? i guess i’ll have to see in the meantime i just hope you’ll keep waiting for me
2.
awful 00:55
maybe if the world was less awful i coulda called you a friend because you wouldnt wanna act so awful and i mightve seen you again oh maybe if the world was less angry then i’d walk around as i am maybe i woulldn’t have to hide in everyone who isn’t awful
3.
i never meant to hurt nobody before you so thanks for showing me what evil i could do with my bag in the hall and my back on the wall cuz i’m too scared to sleep in my bedroom you never meant to hurt nobody even me so thanks for this new memory of how not to be at the cost of the sound of you being around i’ll try not to forget what you sound like oh trust me i’ve been sober like a whole damn week now hasn’t been too hard except a couple freakouts cuz the eyes are on me can they tell i’m a freak? and that i could’ve treated you fairly i know i’ll guilt myself for buying food and things i need to live and make the music that i want to see i’m washed up i’m a mess look like shit in a dress and of course it’s the one that you gave me you might as well be reaching out to poison ivy making all my friends too scared to stand behind me i’m unpredictable in the way that’s not cool in a way that you can call me crazy

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released March 14, 2022

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fraxiom Chicago, Illinois

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